Brought Out By Crying Out

If you are local I hope you’ll consider joining our prayer hour on Tuesday mornings at 7 AM. We meet at the Altamesa Church.

This week guys shared what’s going on in their lives, things that we “cry out” about. For example in Psalm 107 there are four groups: Guys who are really sick and in physical trouble, guys who are lost in emotional and spiritual darkness, foolish guys who’ve so badly screwed up their lives that they feel that have no chance at recovery, and guys who are at risk in boats at sea.

Each time one of these groups is described the writer says, “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and He brought them out of their distress.”

Our Tuesday morning group has these same experiences, and more. So we’ve decide to cry out about it. One guy has a wife who is weak and doctors can’t figure out what to do for her. Another has been in debt and feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. One guy’s brother is lost. There’s a business owner who can’t get his clients to pay their bills.

One young man just returned from Iraq and feels like he’s unable to pray or be at peace. I’m meeting with him and a few other this morning. We’re going to “cry out” together.

What do you need to cry out about? You can be brought out of your trouble and distress.

I hope you have a group you can cry out with.

Ready When The Answer Came

In his book Beyond Jabez, Bruce Wilkinson shares the story of an old African woman who demonstrated faith in God's power to provide. Although she lived in a tiny mud hut, she had taken on the responsibility of caring for 56 orphans.

A small group of Wilkinson's "Dream for Africa" volunteers had arrived in this grandmother's native Swaziland to plant gardens. On the final day of their visit, they came upon her tiny home, surrounded by the many children in her care. A number of little gardens had been dug up all around the hut, but oddly, no plants were growing in any of them.

The volunteers learned that, earlier on the same day, the woman had told the children to dig lots of gardens. When the children asked her why—since they had neither seeds nor money—she responded, "Last night I asked God to send someone to plant gardens for us. We must be ready for them when they come."

Wilkinson's volunteers had come with hundreds of ready-to-plant seedlings. God sent them to the very place where one of his servants had begged for his intervening hand. The faithful grandmother and her children were ready when the answer came.

Bruce Wilkinson with Brian Smith, Beyond Jabez (Multnomah, 2005), pp. 147-148

People On Fire

In 1935, Blasio Kugosi, a schoolteacher in Rwanda, Central Africa, was deeply discouraged by the lack of life in the church and the powerlessness of his own experience. He followed the example of the first Christians and closed himself in for a week of prayer and fasting in his little cottage.

He emerged a changed man. He confessed his sins to those he had wronged, including his wife and children. He proclaimed the gospel in the school where he taught, and revival broke out there, resulting in students and teachers being saved. They were called abaka, meaning “people on fire.”

Shortly after that, Blasio was invited to Uganda to share with the Anglican Church there. As he called the leaders to repentance, the fire of the Spirit descended again on the place, with similar results as in Rwanda.

Several days later, Blasio died of fever. His ministry lasted only a few weeks, but the revival fires sparked through his ministry swept throughout East Africa and continue to the present. Hundreds of thousands of lives have been transformed over the decades through this mighty East African revival. It all began with a discouraged Christian setting himself apart to seek the fullness of God's Spirit.

Sad Little Flake Prayers

At the beginning of his novel, On the Road With the Archangel, Frederick Buechner captures this insight on prayer through one of his characters, Raphael the archangel:

I am Raphael, one of the seven archangels who pass in and out of the presence of the Holy One, blessed be He. I bring Him the prayers of all who pray and those who don't even know that they're praying.

Some prayers I hold out as far from me as my arm will reach, the way a woman holds a dead mouse by the tail when she removes it from the kitchen. Some, like flowers, are almost too beautiful to touch, and others so aflame that I'd be afraid of their setting me on fire if I weren't already more like fire than I am like anything else. There are prayers of such power that you might almost say they carry me rather than the other way round—the way a bird with outstretched wings is carried higher and higher on the back of the wind. There are prayers so apologetic and shamefaced and halfhearted that they all but melt away in my grasp like sad little flakes of snow. Some prayers are very boring.

Frederick Buechner, On the Road With the Archangel, (HarperSanFransisco, 1997) p.1

Can You Guess What It Is?

Here is this week's guess what it is photo, taken with my Motorola RAZR V3.

Can you guess what it is?

In My Distress I Cried Out To God

Psalm 18:6

In The Power Of Crying Out Bill Gothard writes: "The most significant difference between the prayers of God's people in Scripture (so powerfully effective) and our prayers today (so seemingly ineffective) is this: there was a fervency in the prayers of biblical saints - a fervency that is inherent in crying out. When we grasp this fact, the pages of Scripture come alive with sound!"

When Paul says that we cry, "Abba, Father" in Romans 8:15, he uses a Greek verb for "crying out" that is often translated "shouting." Compare that to the quiet, reserved prayers we most often pray and hear prayed.

And don't forget that "abba" is Aramaic for "daddy." Paul says that the Spirit God has placed inside us inspires this kind of calling out. We naturally want to shout out to our daddy. I wonder if our reserved approach to prayer hinders this.

Hmmm... If you ever find yourself knowingly suppressing an urge to cry out or shout out to God, maybe you need to make a change in your prayer life.

Gadget Splurge

Which would you choose if you could indulge yourself with one or the other?

60GB iPod or new surround sound entertainment system?

DirecTV with NFL Sunday Ticket or cable with all the movie channels?

Trek Mountain Bike or a Segway (the electric deals you stand & ride)?

Entire collection of your favorite artist on CD or vinyl album?

50 inch plasma TV or new living room furniture?

Dell laptop or Dell desktop?

Digital camera or 35mm?

X-box 360 or Sony PSP?

Just a plain cell phone or one with all the whistles (PDA, e-mail, instant messaging, internet so you can blog on the go...)?

Greatest Questions

Here are the two most important questions, the ones we spend our lives answering (or ignoring).

Who is God?

Who does He want me to be?

What do you think? Do you have another one or two you'd like to toss in to the mix?

A Twist On Sacred Cows

Continued from yesterday's post... A dialogue with Johan Jordaan of South Africa. Late next month Johan goes to a dangerous area to help in a Lobola. He appreciates our prayers.

What is Lobola?

Johan Jordaan: Lobola is an interesting concept. The husband to be must pay back the cost of bringing up his wife to be. If the wife to be comes from a family with some social status, the husband stands to gain status by marrying into this family. He must pay for that. In the old days the payment was done in cattle as that was the main measure of wealth. These days the payment is made in hard cash but still calculated in cows. It's a little confusing as some people refer to a cow being worth the actual market value which is currently about R3500. Others still refer to a cow being worth R1000 which is what a cow was worth back in the day when most people started paying in cash rather than cows.

So can any man marry any woman?

JJ: If a man desires to marry a particular woman he must obviously ask the parents as in most cultures. This is not a matter that he will take up with the parents on his own. He will need to ask his father, or another respected family member and two or three close friends of his family to go and negotiate lobola. One of these people must be a woman so that the mother of the future bride will have someone to talk to as the negotiation is strictly a male matter. On some given day which the man's negotiators will decide on they will arrive at the bride's house unannounced to negotiate. They must arrive early as this shows an eagerness of the groom but they must not wake the people up. I'm told that the window is small. Some time between when the household will awake and when they have a chance to make coffee. In my house that gives you about 2 minutes :)

Then the negotiators will announce what their intent is but they don't expect a response. They must give gifts to "open the mouths" of the bride's negotiators, usually her parents.

The gifts can not be to big because this will make the bride's parents think that the man is wealthy and can afford a large lobola but the gifts can not be to small otherwise the parents could tell the negotiators to come back when they are ready (sort of implying that they aren't prepared). Once the mouths are open the discussions begin.

The idea is to offer a certain amount of cows. Then the parents might say the girl is worth more and they must give a reason and then the negotiation is really underway. Things that will influence the price includes where the newlyweds plans to stay (my friend has a problem here because he is taking the girl to Nederland with him), the position of the bride's father in society, the education of the girl, also how many children she has potential to have (big hips and breast comes at a price). In some cultures if the girl has already had a child she will be more expensive. The price must be an even number of cows for some reason, but I don't know why. Some girls will cost 4 cows and some will cost 500 cows even though 500 is the most that I have heard of and it is very uncommon. A king's daughter might cost 200 - 500 cows.

You mentioned that your participation will be dangerous. Why is that?

JJ: The main thing is that there previously disadvantaged townships are filled with poor unemployed people. That is the danger. You hear daily reports about people accidentally ending up in townships and paying for their mistake with their lives. Sometimes you hear about so called "muti murders". Sangomas kill innocent people and harvest some organs that they traditionally use in some of their "medicines". Most often though it is simply a matter of being robbed, often at gunpoint. So those are the dangers. :(

Hope that explains it nicely to you.

Wow. And we thought our engagement period was tough! Please join me in prayer for Johan.

Real Life Johnny Lingo

Johan Jordaan is a brother from the blogosphere who lives in South Africa. Johan sent this last week after I did a post on how our kids group up so fast...

Hope all is well on your side of the planet. Here in the south it is warming up now. My little family is doing very well and my boys are growing so fast. I really enjoyed your post yesterday. Only a father can know what you described. Thanks.

I have been asked to do lobola negotiation in September for a friend. Don't know if you know how it works but in African traditions you have to pay for your wife. That is called lobola.

Now this will happen in a previously disadvantaged rural area. My family is very concerned for my safety during this trip. I'd appreciate it if you will keep me in your prayers towards the end of September.

Are any of you familiar with Lobola? I am, only from reading and seeing a short movie (made back in 1969 by BYU & The Mormon Church), Johnny Lingo.

Set not in Africa but on a South Pacific island, Johnny bargains for a bride. He pays an exorbitant amount (8 cows) and causing a sensation in his tribal community. Everyone else thinks Mahana is quite plain. They don't appreciate or even see her beauty until Johnny values her as a person and she then blossoms into a radiant, breath-taking bride.

Tomorrow I'll share Johan Jordaan's real life upcoming Lobola story as he goes next month to help a man pay for a bride. As he indicates, Johan is going to an extremely dangerous part of the world to do this. Please keep him in your prayers.

Potpourri On A Monday

It is hot in Fort Worth, Texas with no relief in sight. Our break is likely at least a month away.

I posted a brief story from NFL Hall of Fame member Rayfield Wright’s book, Wright Up Front on Saturday. Who reads blogs on Saturday, right? You’ll be blessed if you take a look by scrolling down two posts or going here.

Why do some people sit at an intersection and direct traffic? Just this morning as I took our son to football practice a guy clearly got to a four-way stop well before we did, but there he sat, waving me to go on. I wonder... If he hit the accelerator and we collided, what would the police & my insurance say?

It is only 15 days until my league’s fantasy football draft. I’m so happy.

I decided, between checking my stocks and the ladies’ Bunko parties at church, that all forms of gambling are wrong.

Do any of you know (or care) who won the Teen’s Choice Awards? As for me and my house, we’re in the “we do not care” crowd.

How can a tiny Yorkie dog think he can run an entire household? How is it that a tiny Yorkie dog can often get an entire household to do exactly what he wants?

I removed comment verification to see if the auto-bots are still out there...

Can You Guess What It Is?

Here is this week's entry in the Sunday contes, "Guess What It Is." It's always a picture taken with my cell phone. I highly doubt anyone will guess this!

Can you guess what it is?

Still In Front Of Me Today

Hall of Fame. Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor. One of the greatest of all-time.

Rayfield Wright is all of the above. And he is so much more. I’m reading his book, Wright Up Front and just have to share this story, when he lived in Griffin, Georgia and experienced faith and prayer with his grandmother, “Big Mama.”

You can order his book here.

Big Mama was an early riser and, since I loved being with her, I would always begin my day with her. Our first chore was to start the fire in the fireplaces and stove to heat the house. Then we would get on bended knees and pray. She had an amazing relationship with the lord, and constantly gave Him thanks and praise. I always knelt down beside her as she prayed.

One day, at the age of 10, I knelt down beside the bed to pray our morning prayer. I quietly asked, “Big Mama, may I lead the prayer this morning?” She looked at me with a very powerful message in her eyes (to this day I have never forgotten this look). She simply smiled and said, “Sure son. Go right ahead and pray.” Knowing we were struggling to meet the needs of our family, I simply asked God if He would, “Somehow give me the ability to help my mother and grandmother, to help my brothers and sister, and to help other people.” When I finished this prayer my grandmother asked me one simple question: “Son, do you believe in what you prayed?” I said, “Yes, Ma’am! I believe God will answer my prayer.” She then told me something that will echo in my mind and heart forever. “Keep this prayer in front of you Son, and never let it go.” That was her request.

My heart knew that god would hear my prayers simply because my grandmother constantly reminded us that “God hears our prayer and watches over us.” And I did believe.

Almighty God has answered the prayer I recited that day. And it’s still in front of me today. Praise God.

Change Of Mind

Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger is the youngest quarterback to ever to win a Super Bowl. This past June he crashed his motorcycle. Along with a scare and a hospital stay, Ben got a new perspective on personal freedom and free will.

A year before, in July of 2005, ESPN reporter Andrea Kremer asked Roethlisberger to explain his decision to ride his motorcycle without a helmet:

ESPN: It's not the law in Pennsylvania to wear a helmet. Why don't you wear a helmet?

Roethlisberger: Because you don't have to. It's not the law. If it was the law, I'd definitely have one on every time I rode. But it's not the law and I know I don't have to. You're just more free when you're out there with no helmet on.

Less than a year after that interview a driver failed to yield at a Pittsburgh intersection. Roethlisberger was thrown into the windshield of her Chrysler Town and Country. His bike was totaled, and emergency surgeons spent over seven hours repairing a broken jaw, a fractured skull, missing teeth, and several other facial injuries.

After being released from the hospital, Roethlisberger apologized to the fans, his family, and his team for risking his health (and life) unnecessarily. In another interview, he was no longer focused on taking advantage of his individual freedom: "In the past few days, I've gained a new perspective on life. By the grace of God, I'm fortunate to be alive." He also added that, if he ever does ride a motorcycle again, "it will certainly be with a helmet."

Ever take an accident or a mistake on your part to change your mind about something like that?

Thanks to David Slagle of Atlanta, Georgia & ESPN.com

Pick An Unfortunate Option

Here’s one of my oddball lists. Humor me and tell us which one of these you’d choose, if one of these unfortunate options just had to come to pass.

The valet guy squeals the tires of your car as he pulls away, and seconds after he turns the corner you hear a loud crash.

Your dentist comments, right as he puts that needle in your mouth, that he couldn’t find his glasses after the all night party he attended so he’s wearing his backup pair.

Your neighbor’s kid is in a grunge band and they practice in their garage 10 feet from your patio.

Your voice mysteriously changes and you sound exactly like Harry Caray of Chicago Cubs announcing fame.

You receive an off color e-mail about your boss and her husband from a coworker you hardly know. Before you can delete it you accidentally forward it to your boss and everyone else in the office.

OK, which one would you choose and why?

Be Ready Little Wrens

We found two tiny baby wrens on Lola’s breeze way.

Lola Gordon is one of the sweetest 96 year old ladies and one of the most dearly loved persons we have ever known. Last month Lola’s daughter and son-in-law were involved in an horrific automobile accident. Ron was killed. Jan was critically injured and was still in a coma.

Two weeks ago Suzanne and I saw Lola at her in her home in Tomball, north of Houston. We visited for a good while, grieving over her losses and heartache, still hoping for the best. As we left, Lola slowly walked with us down her breeze way, talking about how hard it was for her to let go of Ron, and not wanting to let go of Jan.

That’s when we saw the two baby birds who had just left the nest.

Not quite able yet to fly, they huddled together beneath Lola’s porch swing. A cat was prowling the lawn, so we discussed what to do. We decided to carefully gather the birds with a towel, cautious not to touch them, and return them to the nest we had found in a hanging plant nearby.

Lola noticed they soon left the nest again. This time they flew away.

We got word that Jan died this past weekend.

I spoke with Lola yesterday, and in her grief we thought of those little birds. We talked about how they were not the only ones who have flown away together. Maybe God had sent those little wrens to remind us to be ready, that as Ron had already gone Jan would fly away too.

I think when you are 96 you think about flying away quite often. And when your daughter and son-in-law go on before you, you listen for God even more.

“Be ready little wrens, you’ll fly away soon.”

E-mail Mistakes

Kansas Bob had a recent post that got me thinking about e-mail mistakes.

I’ve made my fair share, for sure. I learned too late that e-mail does not convey emotion very well. Plus, I’ve learned to delete e-mails. It took me a while to learn a few rules about e-mail. Here are four I’ve discovered for myself..

Never e-mail what I ought to say. I try my best to never write something to someone that I ought to say face to face. E-mail does a terrible job of conveying something negative. And I’ve even tried to steer away from a positive e-mail and send a handwritten note instead. There is something about a pen on paper that seems to express emotion far more effectively than e-mail.

Use the delete button. I don’t feel bad about deleting e-mails. For some reason I once thought I had go through them and somehow keep them all. It was too much for me when, after a cleaning-out just 2 weeks before, my inbox occupants numbered more than 500. Now I clean out my inbox everyday. It’s been liberating.

Reply as soon as possible. Again, I learned the hard way. People want a response, even if it says, “I don’t have time to send a full response today via e-mail, so call me at...” Plus, with my new “Delete Today” rule I have to reply or it’s gone.

Don’t bother with forwards. This is not when someone forwards me an FYI. I’m talking about the forward of a forward of a forward. Sorry. I just don’t have time. I really chuckle when one begins with, “I usually don’t forward e-mails, but...” I think to myself, “Sorry, but I always delete forwards. "

What e-mail rules do you have?

Small, Little, Insignificant Matters

The first school week is upon us.

It’s a big deal to our son who is going into 8th grade and starts the week with two hours of football practice. He’s less nervous about putting the pads on and hitting again as he is putting the pads on and hitting again in 100 degree heat.

This is a big week for our daughter who begins 6th grade. This is an especially big deal because her mom is one of the 6th grade teachers and she’ll be in her class once each day through next May.

Our perspective changes with firsthand experience. Junior high football is a small matter, unless you’re suiting up or your son is playing. I’m proud of him, don’t want him to get hurt, hope he’s improved from last year, glad he’ll learn about teamwork, and hope the coaches make them drink plenty of water.

Grade six is just a stop at the end of elementary school, right? Not if it’s your baby girl who’s been looking forward to being her mom’s student for five years. She has no idea how fast this year will go by. We do. I’m happy for her but I can’t believe next year she’ll go to junior high. I hope she continues to fit in well with some other girls, hope she gets a good locker, and hope she continues to be disgusted with the idea of a boyfriend.

Life is made up of transitions, changes, practices, going to new classes, meeting new challenges... What small, little, insignificant matters are the biggest things going on in your life this week?

Can You Guess What It Is?

Here is this today's entry in the weekly "guess what it is" contest. Each Sunday I post a picture I've taken with my cell phone.

Can you guess what it is?

Who Are Those Guys?

Can you match these men (all from the 60's & 70's) with their correct identity without doing a Google or other search?

The list:
William Goldman
Pitcher Man
Mark Fidrych
Bo Donaldson
Gary Owens
Pete Best
Lancelot Link
Charles Rebozo
Joseph Kopechne
Louis I. Kahn

The answers:
Desined Fort Worth's Kimball Art Museum
Father of woman killed in Ted Kennedy's 1969 car accident
Eccentric pitcher for Detroit Tigers
Wrote screenplay for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Became Mr. Kool Aid
Voice of Space Ghost
Close friend and confidant of President Richard Nixon
Secret agent chimp in TV series spy spoof
Original drummer for The Beatles
Sang anti-war one hit wonder, Billy Don't Be A Hero

5 Wartime Questions - Which Do You Think?

Are we engaged in a "war on terror" or a war against Islamic radicalism?

While I'm sure we all "hate war" I'd like to know... Do you generally support this war as a just war?

Would you support profiling at airports, even if it meant looking more closely at Muslims of Middle Eastern descent and left you open to the charge of "racial profiling"?

Which party benefits most from a heightened sense of concern over terror attacks, the Dems or the GOP?

Honestly, do you tend to think of this war in political terms or spiritual terms?

I'll give you my answers in a comment later...

Click the 2,996 link at the top left of this page to join the 2,996 tribute

Trouble On An Unimaginable Scale

Odd timing. During my week of posts on 9/11 & terror, UK authorities arrest 21 men, thwarting a major terror attack on flights bound from the UK to The United States.

According to Michael Chertoff, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, the intent was to produce an attack larger than 9/11. British police have said that the plot was "intended to be mass murder on an unimaginable scale."

The arrests happened last night. London says the plan was to simultaneously blow several jetliners out of the sky.

American, United, Continental, and British carrier flights en route to the US were to have liquid explosives smuggled on board in carry-on bags. The explosions were to be detonated using simple, commonly carried-on electronic devices.

Here is my opinion: The sooner we all come to terms with the reality that we are in World War III the sooner it might be over. We don't want to face this trouble but we must.

In these times of terror I often go back to the words of Jesus. "In this world you will have trouble. But you can be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world."

Click the 2,996 link at the top left of this page to join the 2,996 tribute

Primed For God

Many people ask, "Where was God on 9-11?" I think the more important question is, "Where was God on 9-10?"

This question forces us to face up to the hard realities of a God who loves people so much that He gives us free will. We can do whatever we want. And what some people do results in a terrible darkness. But God's love will penetrate even that darkness.

New York Fire Department paramedic instructor Dave Gill worked at New York's Ground Zero in the days following the 9-11 attack.

People are crying for some good news. This is a great opportunity for people to go out and share their faith. People want to know, "Where is God in midst of all this evil?" and I have the opportunity to talk about the fact that God is a good God.

A lot of people are very fearful. The City of New York is primed right now for God. Our politicians are telling people the way to handle it is to pray and go to church, and our chaplains have free access to go around and minister to people who are working here (at Ground Zero) and outside of here too.

I had an opportunity to pray with all my coworkers on my shift. I told everyone that if they didn't want to pray, they didn't have to. Not one person said "no."

Please Join Me And Be A Part Of 2,996

Join the blogosphere community tribute to honor one of the 2,996 who died in the terror attacks on 9/11.

The idea is simple, but powerful: A tribute for each victim of 9/11 will be created by 2,996 different bloggers. Please sign-up to make a tribute on your own blog. The 2,996 coordinators will randomly assign a 9/11 victim to you.

As of today not quite half of the 2,996 have been assigned. If you go here and sign-up we'll be one more person closer to 2,996.

On Monday September 11, I'll be honoring John Frank Rizzo, a 50 year old New Yorker who died in the World Trade Center.

World Trade Center, "I Saw It Happen!"

The movie is in theaters later this week. Will you see it?

Did you ever visit the WTC, before 9/11? Have you been to Ground Zero?

Did you see United 93? Is it too soon for Hollywood to be making movies about the terror attacks?

When Suzanne and I were in NYC two years ago we met a businessman on the subway who emotionally told us how he saw the second plane hit the building. We were talking with another New Yorker, asking if he had been anywhere near downtown Manhattan on 9/11. Before he could answer, this other guy leapt to his feet and interrupted.

"I saw it happen! I saw it happen! I was standing in my office watching the smoke from the first tower and I saw it!" His eyes were wide, his face was drawn taut, almost like he had just been there, seeing it all over again.

This was almost 3 years after the attacks and this poor man still needed to talk about it. He went well out of his way to show us how to get to Ground Zero, making sure we got off at the right stop, telling his story all along the way.

I'm not sure he will be going to see World Trade Center. How about you?

Can You Guess What It Is?

Here is this week's picture I took with my cell phone. What is it?

Can you guess what it is?

This is a tough one for a parent

At the end of the summer, in 1984, Bruce Goodrich was being initiated into the cadet corps at Texas A & M University. College Station is hot and humid. The initiation is difficult. This was a deadly combination for Bruce.

One morning, Bruce was forced to run until he dropped. When he eventually collapsed, he was told to get up and keep going. He collapsed again, went into a coma, and died later that same day. The students who mistreated Bruce were put on trial and charged with causing his death.

Bruce's father did not excuse the cruel injustice of what happened to his son. But he wrote this letter to the administration, faculty, student body, and the corps of cadets:

"I would like to take this opportunity to express the appreciation of my family for the great outpouring of concern and sympathy from Texas A & M University and the college community over the loss of our son Bruce. We were deeply touched by the tribute paid to him in the battalion. We were particularly pleased to note that his Christian witness did not go unnoticed during his brief time on campus."

Mr. Goodrich went on: "I hope it will be some comfort to know that we harbor no ill will in the matter. We know our God makes no mistakes. Bruce had an appointment with his Lord and is now secure in his celestial home. When the question is asked, 'Why did this happen?' perhaps one answer will be, 'So that many will consider where they will spend eternity.'"

More On Apologies: No Lawsuit

OK... What do you guys think of this?

Two years ago, after surgery, Charles Utley of San Diego discovered a swollen bump on his backside. It didn't subside as he healed. Utley discovered his surgeon had left a sponge behind while sewing him up.

Rachel Zimmerman, in The Wall Street Journal says, "Even when doctors make mistakes this egregious, they customarily refuse to admit it, lest they encourage patients to sue." It's called "defend and deny."

But Utley's doctor did something astonishing. "I was responsible," the surgeon told him. "I apologize for this."

Utley decided not to sue, explaining that his doctor had "honored me as a human being." Other doctors and hospitals, The Journal reports, are also discovering that "an authentically offered apology" does wonders heading off lawsuits. Patients, they're finding, can accept the fact that doctors are fallible. What infuriates them—and drives them to seek revenge—is when doctors say, "What sponge? I don't remember any sponge."

Mel Gibson's Full Statement

Given yesterday's post and your comments about apologies, it seems we might want to talk about Mel Gibson. His arrest for drunk driving has many angles to it. He made terrible remarks to the arresting officers. He is a conservative Catholic. He made The Passion of the Christ over and against Hollywood's refusal to partner in the project. He's been accused of being a closet racist.

Below is his statement of apology in full. Surely you'll agree, even if you don't like Mel Gibson and have already written him off as anti-Semitic, that his is an apology with some real depth to it.

There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark.

I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI (driving under the influence) charge.

I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena.

As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.

The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life.

Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.

I'm not just asking for forgiveness.

I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one-on-one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone.

I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery.

Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable.

But I pray that that door is not forever closed.

This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have.

It's about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad.

So... What do you think?

I Apologize Even Though I I Really Did Nothing Wrong And I'll Probably Do It Again, But Hey, "I'm Sorry"

Here are a couple of public apologies that seem to be a bit short of sincerity.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Kenneth Taylor referred to potential jurors in the eastern Kentucky mountains as "illiterate cave-dwellers." He apologized by saying, "The comment was not meant to be a regional slur. To the extent that it was misinterpreted to be one, I apologize"

CNN founder Ted Turner, apologizing for repeatedly calling Christianity "a religion for losers." "I really, from the very bottom of my heart, want to apologize for statements I made about Christianity. I did it mainly out of frustration. At one time or another, I've offended almost every group. I'm sure I'll be apologizing again."

Why is it so difficult for most of us to make a good apology?

Kiss & Hold Hands

On June 1, 2005, Percy Arrowsmith, 105-years-old, and his 100-year-old wife Florence celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. Percy died two weeks later. They met at their church in Hereford, England. He sang in the choir, and she was a Sunday school teacher.

According to the Guinness World Record authorities, the couple held the record for the longest marriage, as well as the oldest aggregate age of a married couple.

The Arrowsmiths claimed the key to their long marriage was not to go to sleep on an argument. They said they always kissed each other and held hands each night before going to bed.

"Couple Mark 80th Anniversary," The San Antonio Express-News (6-2-05)